


Mob Buisness

by SortaCats



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Female Jack Pattillo, Minecraft/GTA AU, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-09-21 06:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17038166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SortaCats/pseuds/SortaCats
Summary: The Fakes come up with a plan, Geoff gets lost.





	1. Gearing Up

Ryan woke up to the sound of pounding on his front door, along with what sounded like growling. He grabbed his HK USP off the nightstand. He checked the magazine and left his bedroom. He got to his living room and heard clacking and moaning along with the growling. “What the hell,” he muttered as he looked out the window. There were skeletons with bloodied bones and zombies with rotting flesh. His reinforced door was holding them off, so he retreated to his weapons room. He also grabbed his phone and called Geoff, “What reason could you possibly have for waking me up at 4 in the morning?” Geoff growled. “We’ve got a problem,” Ryan replied as he grabbed a rifle off the wall, “Look outside,”  
“Fine,” Geoff grumbled. “Holy shit!” he said as he looked out a window. “We need to wake the rest of the Fakes,” he said as he ran to his safe room. “Yeah, I’ll call Jeremy and Michael. You call Gavin and Jack,” Ryan replied.

“Fuck, that looks bad,” Michael said as he looked outside. “Yeah. Get your gear, we need to leave, yesterday,” Ryan told him. Michael hung up and ran to his storage room. He figured the others would grab medical supplies, food, and water so he didn’t grab any. He picked up his earpiece/mic that would allow him to talk to the others. He took his favorite weapon, an M249 SAW, off the wall and loaded a 200-round box magazine into it. He grabbed a duffel bag and shoved 10 more ammo boxes into it. He also took a Sig Sauer P226 Legion with him and a knife.

“And you thought my outfit was ugly,” Jeremy told Ryan. “Still is. Grab your stuff, we need to leave,” Ryan replied. Jeremy grabbed his suppressed SR-25 off the wall and loaded a magazine. He filled a duffel bag with ammo, food, and water. He also grabbed a M1014, an MP5K and a P30.

“Come on, let’s go. We need to leave,” Geoff told Gavin. “I’m up, what’s so important? I need my sleep,” Gavin replied. “Look outside,” Geoff told him. “Bloody hell. Yeah, I’ll get moving,” he said. Gavin didn’t have as many choices as the rest of the Fakes. He preferred his computer to a gun. He grabbed a MP5 and a Px4 Storm. He took 10 magazines for each of them and used the rest of the space in the duffel bag for food and water and Diet Coke. He thought Ryan might kill him if didn’t take some.

“Wake up Jack,” Geoff said. “Yeah, what is it?” she replied. “Just look outside,” Geoff replied. “Wow, that looks like something out of game. I’ll get my stuff,” she said. She grabbed her MPX PCC, M870 shotgun, and a 1911. She also grabbed her medical bag.

While he made the calls, Ryan selected his gear. He put on his black skull mask and his armored leather jacket. He grabbed an HK416 off the wall, along with a Saiga 12. He put his .50 AR-15 in a duffel along with ammo. 

Geoff grabbed an AK-12, converted to 5.56 NATO, a M870, along with a .50 Desert Eagle Mark XIX. He didn’t go crazy like the others. He put magazines into web pouches and strapped them to his body armor. He filled a duffel bag with food and water and headed for the front door.

Ryan flipped the rifle safety from on to full auto, pulled his door open and jumped back. He put a 3-round burst into the zombie that rushed at him. “Chest shots will kill them,” he told the others. He killed a skeleton but more kept appearing. He emptied the rest of the magazine into the swarm and switched to his shotgun. He fired until they were all dead. He reloaded his shotgun and switched to his rifle. He reloaded that too.

Jack was about to open the door when she heard Ryan say, “Chest shots will kill them.” “That’s good,” she thought. She opened the door swung her carbine in an arc of gunfire. She hit 4 of them with the long burst. She shot the last 2 she saw and moved back into her house to grab more ammo.

“Chest shots will kill them,” Jeremy heard. “Good,” he thought as he loaded a 50-round drum into his MP5K. He opened the door and closed it right away. “Fuck, there are so many of them,” he thought. “I wonder if they can climb, I guess I’ll find out.” He ran up the stairs to the second floor and up the ladder to his roof. He looked down on the horde outside his house and set the safety to full auto and fired in bursts, going for kill shots. They tried, and failed, to climb the sides of his house. He finished off the magazine and reloaded. He told the others, “They can’t climb. Find the high ground,” He waited for the Star Wars jokes, but none came.

Gavin heard Ryan’s observation and he opened the door and emptied the 30-round magazine into the crowd of monsters. He closed the door and reloaded. He ran back to his weapons closet and grabbed an M1014 shotgun. He opened the door again and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened, he slammed the door. “Bloody hell, I forgot to load it,” he thought. He loaded it and opened the door. He fired until it was empty but there were still more. “They can’t climb. Find the high ground,” Jeremy said. Gavin forced the door shut and collapsed against it.

Michael was still loading up the duffel bag with ammo boxes when he heard Ryan say, “Chest shots will kill them.” “Good,” he thought, “less aiming, more shooting,” He finished loading and moved the door when Jeremy said, “They can’t climb. Find the high ground.” Michael thought of few jokes but didn’t share them. He ran up the stairs and climbed the ladder to his roof. He looked down on his front yard, all the monsters that had been there a few minutes ago were gone. 

Geoff waited a few minutes before opening the door. He heard what Ryan and Jeremy said, so he climbed to his roof. He set the safety to semi-auto and shot a zombie in the head. He killed about a dozen of them and the rest ran.


	2. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fakes come up with a plan, Geoff gets lost.

As Ryan ran to Jeremy’s house, he heard him say, “They can’t climb. Find the high ground.” There were dozens of them outside. Jeremy was on the roof, shooting down at them. He looked around for a safe spot to shoot at them from, but he didn’t find one. “I’ve cleaned up the ones at my house, I’m at Jeremy’s now,” he told the others. He opened fire on the swarm, cutting down six of them. Jeremy mopped up the rest and reloaded. “My house is clear. Who needs help?” he asked. “My house is clear, I killed about a dozen and the rest ran,” Geoff said. “I saw some when Ryan called, but when I looked out after I geared up, they were all gone,” Michael said. “My house is clear,” Jack said. “There are a lot outside my house,” Gavin said.

Everyone but Jeremy to Gavin’s house and saw that he wasn’t wrong. “Holy shit, that must be where they all ran,” Geoff said. “Get up on the roof, Gavin,” Jeremy told him. A few moments later, they saw him on the roof. “Well, what are waiting for, start shooting at them. “You’ll grab their attention and we’ll shoot at them from here,” Ryan said. Gavin fired the entire magazine at them, killing only three of them. The rest of the Fakes opened fire in controlled bursts. Jeremy opened fire as well, they all heard the sharp cracks of his SR-25. In a few minutes, the monsters surrounding Gavin’s house were gone. Gavin opened his front door and closed it again. A few moments later, he appeared coming from the alley to the side of his house. Jeremy met with the crew as well. “Come on, we should head to the main armory and resupply. Then we need to leave,” Geoff said. “We should grab the Insurgent with the M2, it might come in handy,” Ryan replied. “What about the B-Team, we should look for them,” Jeremy said. Gavin and Jack nodded in agreement. “We should also look for survivors,” Jack suggested. “How are we going to help them?” Geoff asked. “Zancudo has those cargo trucks. We could steal a few of those, maybe some cargobobs,” Ryan said. “The Vagabond, Ryan Haywood of all of us, wants to help people?!” Geoff exclaimed. “No, I just wanna steal from the military,” Ryan replied. “Alright, we’ll help them,” Geoff said. 

They ran to the FAHC’s Main Armory, which was disguised as a warehouse. They only ran into a few monsters, and no survivors. “Where the hell is everyone?” Michael thought out loud. Geoff went through the lengthy security procedures, while the others kept lookout. “There are about a dozen to the south, meandering our way,” Jeremy reported. A few minutes later Geoff said, “Its open, let’s go in before they see us.” Ryan and Michael went in first, clearing the mostly open space. “All clear. Michael and I will put our weapons in the Insurgent and start modifying it,” Ryan said. “Put in medical supplies too, I bet we’ll need them,” Jack replied.

Six hours Geoff asked, “Everyone ready?” The Crew nodded and got in the heavily modified Insurgent. Michael and Ryan had welded heavy steel plates over the windows and over the passenger side of the windshield. They also put a swiveling cage around the M2 .50 machine-gun to protect the gunner. In the bed, they welded more steel plates to protect Michael, who would be riding there with a rocket launcher.

 

Ryan got in the M2, Geoff drove, Gavin rode shotgun, Jack sat behind Geoff, Jeremy rode behind Gavin, and Michael rode in the bed. “Are you sure riding back there is a good idea, boi?” Gavin asked. Michael shrugged and said, “Its armored. I’m not gonna fit in there with you guys and someone needs to have the rocket launcher,”   
Does anyone have a Diet Coke?” Ryan asked. “Here,” Jack replied as she handed him a can. 

“Almost there,” Geoff said. “You said that 20 minutes ago,” Jeremy replied, “Are you sure you know where we’re going?” Geoff looked unsure and he didn’t answer. “We passed a gas station a mile back, could see if they have a map,” Jack suggested. I know where we’re going,” Geoff replied. “If you know where we’re going, why’d we pass that gas station again?” Ryan asked. “Come on Geoff, we can at least look for a map, there,” Jeremy said. “Alright, fine,” Geoff replied. He took a sharp U-turn and parked in front of the door. Ryan grabbed his rifle climbed out of the cage and jumped down. “Wait, asshole,” Michael said. Michael hopped out and followed him in. Jeremy got out and climbed on the roof, scanning the area with his rifle. A minute later Michael came out, holding a map. “Where’s Ryebread?” Gavin asked. “I think he said something about making sure no one gets his Diet Coke,” Michael replied. Jack took the map from Michael and scanned it. She pulled a marker out of the glove box and marks a location with a box. “This is the Armory,” she says. “I think we’re here,” Jeremy says as he points to a location. Jack nods. “Ryan let’s go. We know how to get there,” Geoff told Ryan. “Alright, gimme a sec,” he replied. A few minutes later he came out carrying crates of Diet Coke cans. “Seriously?! We are about to steal from the military and you stop for Diet Coke!?” Geoff exclaimed. “Yeah, I can never have too much Diet Coke,” Ryan replied. Geoff just shook his head as Ryan loaded the crates into the Insurgent’s bed. “How far is Zancudo?” Ryan asked. “About 15 minutes,” Jack replied. Ryan nodded and got back in the turret. 

They got about a quarter mile from the base and stopped. Jeremy got out and peered through his sniper scope. While he did that, Ryan thought of the Army’s procedures and a plan to circumvent them, which brought back unwanted memories from his past.


	3. Ryan's Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before he was the Vagabond, Ryan Haywood was Master Sergeant James Haywood. He served 12 years in the military, 6 with the Army Rangers, and 5 with Delta Force. He spent 1 year in a CIA training program for enhanced interrogation, which is where the Edgar story came from. A traumatic event led to a medical discharge and his having bad feelings toward many people he served with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people may not want to read this. Its a little more graphic than the other chapters. Anyone with military related PTSD triggers probably shouldn't read this. The chapter summary will cover the important without gory details for anyone who doesn't feel comfortable with it.
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter than the others.

12 years ago, James Ryan Haywood was well known in the US Special Forces Community. He had risen quickly to the rank of Master Sergeant and many thought he was the best the Army had to offer. He rejected any promotions past Master Sergeant, saying he wanted to stay in the field. Delta Force picked him up after 6 years with the Army Rangers. The CIA borrowed him for a year enhanced interrogation training. He excelled at this, but his methods were a little too extreme for them. He kept a man in a hole in the ground until he was perfectly compliant and went by the name James gave him, Edgar, not his real name.

Many knew that he commanded respect from his men, they would follow him to hell and back. His last mission was on his final scheduled tour in Afghanistan. His CO, Lt. Colonel Eckson walked into the briefing room where Haywood’s squad as waiting. “Alright, James. JSOC has a lead on Jackson Bradley,” he said. “Really? I thought he was a ghost,” Staff Sergeant Jensen asked. “Not anymore,” Eckson replied with a smile. “This mission won’t be easy. We’ll have a QRF of Rangers ready to back you up, if needed. Bradley is staying a fortress near the Iraqi-Afghan border,” he continued. “Higher ups would prefer him alive but deadly force is authorized if needed.” Eckson continued with the briefing and left to let James come up with a plan. “Are we going in hot?” Sergeant Peters asked. James shook his head and said, “We’ll try to keep this quiet. He’ll probably be in the central building,” he continued. 

The mission went smoothly at first. Their insertion was undetected, and they easily got to the central building. “Alright, let’s breach,” James said. “One, this is four, I have eyes on a target approaching your six,” Jensen said from his overwatch position. James replied an affirmative and moved to take him down. He pulled out his knife and waited for him to turn a corner. When he did, he stabbed him through the carotid artery. After he did that he went back to the door and said, “Execute, execute, execute,” as he kicked the door in. He was immediately blinded by a flashbang. His men tried to pull him out of the doorway, but they were all shot with tranquilizer darts.

When James woke up, Jackson Bradley was aiming his army-issued rifle at Staff Sergeant Peters. “Good, you’re awake. I wanted you to see this,” Bradley said. He then executed everyone of James’ men. “NO!” James screamed. Bradley just laughed and shot him in the gut. James passed out a few minutes later from the blood loss. When the Rangers of the QRF found him, he was barely alive.

As James recovered, he was interviewed by many CID officers. Some thought that he had finally snapped from PTSD and that he had killed his own men. Some thought that he was working with Bradley, and very few thought that he did nothing wrong. James told them his version, and that convinced some but the fact that their helmet cams were missing didn’t help James. He was eventually diagnosed with PTSD and medically discharged. James was slightly angry but decided that fighting it was more trouble than just starting a new life. He started to go by his middle name and moved to Los Santos, hiring himself out for mercenary work.


	4. The Heist and The Escape

Ryan shook himself back to the present. “How’s it look, Jeremy?” he asked. “The front gate is heavily guarded, but our entrance is clear,” he replied with a smile. “If we distract them long enough, Jack can steal a Cargobob and lift the trucks out and drop them somewhere safe, then he can comeback and pick us up,” Ryan suggested. “How are we gonna get past the jets and Buzzards?” Gavin asked. “They probably don’t have any jets in the air, Michael can take out the ones on the ground and I’ll take care of the Buzzards and infantry,” Ryan replied. “We can drive around and blow shit up, or we could just kidnap their CO. That would be fun,” he continued. “Do you see anyone that looks important Jeremy?” he asked. Jeremy looked around for a few minutes and then replied, “I think I found the CO, his nametag says Eckson and he has a gold bird pinned. A Colonel, I think. He’s in the main building” Ryan asked Jeremy for a description. Jeremy gave him one that fit the Eckson he knew to a t. He was extremely surprised that the Army would send him to a place like this.

“Alright, let’s do this,” Geoff said as he gunned the Insurgent towards the jump entrance. Michael fired a rocket as soon as he saw a jet and Ryan opened fire on Zancudo’s landed attack choppers. They sped towards the nearest cargobob and parked in front of its windshield. Jack got and ran to it. Ryan covered her while she spun it up. When she lifted off, Geoff sped towards the main building. Michael fired six more rockets and then said, “I’m out of jets to blow up. I’m gonna blow their jeeps.” Ryan continued to fire on the leg infantry, mowing down anyone that didn’t take cover. A few minutes later Michael ran out of rockets. “Well, it must be time to kidnap the CO,” Ryan said. “Jack, how are you doing?” Geoff asked. “It was a little hectic getting the first truck. I’m flying back to get the second,” she replied. “Alright let’s see if we can get our hands on Colonel Eckson,” Geoff said as he drove toward the base’s HQ building. He parallel parked in front of it, leaving barely enough room for the crew to get out. Ryan climbed out of the turret and kicked the door open. He sauntered in and shot a soldier who was drawing his pistol. “Anyone else wanna get shot?” he cheerfully asked. Geoff strolled in a moment later with the crew, minus Jack, behind him. “I’m looking for Colonel Eckson. Where might I find him?” he asked. When no one answered, Geoff nodded to Ryan. Ryan proceeded to shoot the nearest soldier in the knee. “Whose next?” he asked, cheerily. Still, no one answered. Ryan shot another soldier. A few seconds later, an office door opened and Colonel Eckson walked out, with his hands in the air. Ryan immediately trained his weapon on Eckson’s head. “Alright, stop shooting! I’ll come with you,” Eckson said. “This is the military! Drop your weapons and come out with your hands in the air!” a voice, amplified by a loudspeaker, said. “No thanks!” Ryan shouted back. He pulled out a frag grenade, removed the pin and threw it over the Insurgent. There were panicked shouts as the grenade flew and exploded. Jeremy ran through the hallway, into the stairwell, and headed up. He found a window with a view of the outside soldiers and set up his rifle. “I’ve got a nice vantage point to start shooting from,” He said. “I’m over the base. Looks like you’ve got most the soldiers outside your building,” Jack said. “We’ve got Eckson though,” Ryan said. “I’ve got the second truck. If you can hold them off for 10 minutes, I can pick you up.” Jack said. “Sure, I’ve got plenty of grenades,” Ryan replied. “We’ve also got their boss,” Geoff said. Ryan threw a smoke grenade out and quickly followed it with a frag. Jeremy took pot-shots at the soldiers running away from the grenades. Geoff and Michael flipped desks over to use as cover. Michael also started throwing grenades. “STOP! We’ll give you whatever it is you want. Just leave all of us alone,” Eckson said. “Shut up,” Ryan replied as he threw another frag. Eckson looked like he was about to say something else, but he stopped when Ryan glared at him. “There’s a guy with a rocket launcher coming toward you,” Jeremy said. “Never mind, I got him.” 

Ryan kept throwing grenades until Jack said he was back over the base. “How are we gonna get out? We’re surrounded” Gavin said. “I’ve still got a lot of smoke and flash grenades. If we all throw them, that might distract them long enough to get out of their enclosure,” Ryan replied. Geoff thought about and said, “Let’s do it.” They also decided that Michael would be the gunner and Ryan would watch Eckson in the back. After Jeremy came down from his vantage point, they each threw two smoke grenades and two flashbangs and ran toward the Insurgent. Eckson tried to run away, but Ryan responded by punching him in the stomach. They all made to the Insurgent unharmed. Geoff gunned the Insurgent toward the airstrip while Michael covered their escape with the machine gun. Geoff stopped under the chopper and Michael secured its hook to the roof. Jack lifted off as soon as it snapped into place.

“What do you want from me?” Eckson asked. “Just a little insurance policy. We don’t want your men shooting us down, do we? No be quiet,” Ryan replied as he dug around in a crate he packed. “Who ar-,”   
“Shut up,” Ryan growled, interrupting Eckson. He then gave Eckson a headset that would allow the rest of the crew to question him over the comn network. “He’s on comns,” Ryan reported. “What does the military know about us?” Geoff asked. “Who is ‘us’?” Eckson replied. The crew sat in silence after that remark, Ryan was the first to snap out of the daze. “We’re the Fake AH Crew,” he replied. “Look, I have no clue who the political and criminal players are in Los Santos are. I’ve only been here two weeks and I haven’t been briefed,” Eckson confessed. “So, you’re telling us we have no reason to keep you alive after we get home?” Ryan said, with gleam in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. Eckson vehemently shook his head and was quiet for the rest of the trip.

Jack dropped the Insurgent next to the trucks and landed the chopper nearby. Ryan knocked Eckson out and strapped him into the chopper. They then took a few minutes to formulate a plan on how to get home. Ryan would ride in the chopper and cover the trucks from the air, Jack would still fly it. Gavin and Geoff would each drive a truck. Jeremy would drive the Insurgent and Michael would stay in the turret. 

They all got into their positions and started down the highway. “Everything is too quiet,” Jeremy thought. The highway was dead, the only cars were on the edge of the road. “Be careful, this doesn’t look right,” Ryan said. He was right, a few miles later they had gotten off the highway and ran into a roadblock of cars. The only option for them was to turn left into another blockade or turn around. “This is a setup,” Ryan said. As he said that, two groups of people walked out from behind the blockades. A woman looked at the Insurgent, who was leading their convoy, and said, “Give us everything you have, and we’ll let you go. Nobody has to get hurt.”  
Geoff got out of his truck and said, “Do you know who you’re messing with? Nobody threatens the Fake AH Crew and lives.” Their ambushers broke out into conversations amongst themselves, leaving their leader to talk with Geoff. “We can still kill all of you. You’re outnumbered,” she said. “No, you won’t. We may be outnumbered, but you’re outmatched,” Geoff replied. “Walk away or die. Its your choice,” he continued. 

Most of them chose to leave. Some stayed. The ones that stayed, opened fire on the Insurgent. Michael immediately opened fire and raked fire across them, killing everyone that didn’t take cover. Their leader did, and she aimed at Geoff, but Ryan killed her before she could take a shot.

The rest of the trip went smoothly. Eckson was still unconscious, so they were free to talk. They discussed their plan. 

Once they got home, they would log onto the website where their fans hung out and setup a meeting place. They would set if for 4 hours after they got back. They would use that time to prepare their warehouse and its underground bunker for guests. The bunker could house over 200 people. It had been built during the Cold War as a public fallout shelter in case of nuclear war. The Fakes had bought it and turned it into theirs. They spent millions of stolen cash remodeling and expanding it. They had added multiple storage rooms for weapons, explosives, food, and water. They even built a huge underground garage with an elevator to lift vehicles to the surface. They had kept most of the bedrooms. They figured it would be a waste to tear down the walls for something that they probably wouldn’t need. They converted an open space into a jail and interrogation facility.


	5. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is really short. I've had a lot of writers block for this story and Rimmy Tim. I'm working on a new one, hopefully I'll be able to finish it.

Once they got home, they would log onto the website where their fans hung out and setup a meeting place. They would set if for 4 hours after they got back. They would use that time to prepare their warehouse and its underground bunker for guests. The bunker could house over 200 people. It had been built during the Cold War as a public fallout shelter in case of nuclear war. The Fakes had bought it and turned it into theirs. They spent millions of stolen cash remodeling and expanding it. They had added multiple storage rooms for weapons, explosives, food, and water. They even built a huge underground garage with an elevator to lift vehicles to the surface. They had kept most of the bedrooms. They figured it would be a waste to tear down the walls for something that they probably wouldn’t need. They converted an open space into a jail and interrogation facility.

 

Jack landed the Cargobob on the roof of the warehouse and shut the engine off. She headed downstairs while Ryan woke up Eckson, who was developing a bruise on the left side of his face. Once everyone was inside, the set up the meeting. It would take place near Maze Bank at 1730. Jeremy would leave at 1600, 30 minutes before everyone else. He would find a vantage point to set up his rifle and clear out the area. Everyone else would leave at 1630 and clean up the bodies, if there were any. They would also set up defenses, in case anyone unfriendly saw their message. They would leave Eckson tied up in a jail cell, so he wouldn’t cause any trouble.

Some didn’t believe that they were the real Fake AH Crew, but those problems were quickly solved. Jeremy left, taking an electric motorcycle. Holy crap, there have to be at least a hundred of them, he thought as he looked around the base of the Maze Bank tower. He looked around for a decent vantage point and found one across the street. He parked the bike next to it and climbed the ladder to the roof. He dropped down into a prone position and set the rifle down on its bipod, then flicked the safety off. Accounting for the wind, range, and elevation, he lined up a shot on a zombie’s head.  
He slowed his breathing and gently squeezed the trigger. The heavy .308 round blew through one head and into another. He calmly adjusted his aim and fired again. He kept firing until the bolt locked back, an empty magazine. He reloaded in one smooth, practiced motion. He hit the mag release, pulled a new magazine from a web pouch, and loaded it. Then, he hit the bolt release, chambering a round.


End file.
